Home

Feature Article:

Package Baggage
It always fries my brains when I have nothing more creative to do with my time than visit a computer store. It is a bit like sending a Brit soldier to the gulf without any body armour. I am always caught between the friendly fire of spotty computer...
...Read More


A Faux Pas Is A Mistake In A Tuxedo

Additional Reading

Everyone who is anybody has a hobby or at least entertains the idea. Hobbies range from sports to crafts to reading and even traveling. Some hobbies don't make sense to me like collecting dead insects.

My long established hobby has earned me a membership in the POP (People Observing People) Culture. The rules specify that each member must swear not to divulge anything observed.

Being a minister, I'm not allowed to swear, so I am exempted from this rule.

I love to get a nice hot cup of coffee, a local newspaper and situate myself where I can see the most people in their natural environment. Nothing is more hilarious than observing people who don't realize they are being watched.

Don't get me wrong here, I love people. All sorts of people. I would never unduly make fun of anyone — well almost anyone. Everybody has something about him or her interesting and worth observing.

One of my favorite authors, F. W. Boreham, made this observation: Leave your house early in the morning and the first person you meet take him or her aside and write their biography. Of course, the person will not conceive anything interesting about his or her life, and that's the way most people are. We think everybody else is more interesting than our life.

The average person, in my opinion, leads a more interesting life than almost all celebrities, except for Elvis who is more popular dead than alive.

As an expert in the POP Culture, the most interesting thing about people can be summed up in one word: mistakes.

Mistakes are the common characteristics of all those addicted to oxygen. Other similarities exist among people, but this one thing supercedes culture, time, age and gender. Everybody at some time to some degree makes mistakes.

Two kinds of people populate our planet: those who admit their mistakes and those who don't.

Now, a mistake is not just a mistake. There are categories and degrees of mistakes. Let me list a few categories and see which one fits into your lifestyle.

The first category would be, inaccuracies. It is easy to get something wrong when dealing with numbers, especially dialing telephone numbers. Not long ago my wife, who works as my secretary, dialed a number for me. I can't remember now who we were trying to call, but I do remember who we really got.

My wife dialed the number and as soon as it started to ring, she handed the phone to me. When I put the receiver to my ear, I heard a sultry voice invite me to do things I had never considered before in my life.

Her words sent shockwaves down to the soles of my feet and back to the top of my head, only to repeat the procedure several times. I had heard of such things but I never heard it personally.

I immediately scowled at my wife and demanded, "What number did you dial?"

"I dialed the number you gave me," she said rather flippantly.

"Okay," I quipped, "listen to this."

I handed the telephone back to her and watched her eyes explode and her mouth drop open. She quickly gave it back to me, but I didn't want it either.

Inadvertently, she had dialed some phone sex number. We both went to the restroom to wash out our ears.

Another category, omission. This is where I get into a lot of trouble with my wife. It is not that I'm negligent but I do have the odd moment where certain bits of information are temporarily obscure from any immediate recall. Like when I go to the grocery store for my wife and get everything but what she sent me for in the first place.

How this happens befoggles my mind.

Misunderstanding represents another category. I really do not understand this one. I have been accused of misunderstanding some very simple instructions from You Know Who.

I sincerely miss my understanding but for now, I'll simply overlook it.

Blunder is still another category of mistakes. In this group, the mistake is rather innocent. It might be a result of some tiny oversight. After all, nobody can see and remember everything.

If there were awards for blunders, I would have a shelf full of trophies.

The list can go on and on. However, my experience as a card-carrying member of the POP Culture brings me to the conclusion that the quintessential mistake is the faux pas. If anyone knows about mistakes, it is the French. Just saying it gives one the feeling of something tremendously special.

A faux pas is simply a mistake in a tuxedo.

A faux pas can cover any and all mistakes. A simple procedure is associated with this. When you realize that you've just committed a faux pas, place three fingers from your right hand, never your left and never four fingers although two will work fine, across your mouth while extending your pinky. Then giggle and say, "Oh, pardon my faux pas." Then roll your eyes upward.

This is most useful when in heavy traffic and you've just cut in front of another driver. Your faux pas gesture will be immediately acknowledged by the driver in the car extending a solitary digit upwards. This is merely a friendly gesture recognizing your faux pas.

Of course, the superb response to every mistake is found in the Bible. "Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much." (James 5:16 KJV.)

As someone once said, "confession is good for the soul." Do a little soul-work this week.

About the Author

Rev. James L. Snyder is an award winning author and popular columnist living in Ocala, FL with his wife Martha. Snyder has written 9 books.

 

More Reading:


MARCH MADNESS MERRIMENT

Mindfulness and Laughter Gaining Clarity While Giggling

Dog Poo

Bernie Ebbers and The Temptations

CHRISTMAS CLANGERS

 
Patch a Scottish Collie

Pastors and politicians Its my party Ill cry if I want to

Quirk Wars

Funny Movie Quotes

Quotes and Sayings Colloquialisms Part 1


Top 10 Things to make your next company meeting more exciting Part 2
Top 10 Things to make your next company meeting more exciting Part 2 10. Slowly slump in your seat. When you are about to fall off the chair, suddenly straighten up and apologize profusely. 9. Remove your shoes and socks. Lay your socks on the...
...Read More

The Incredibles Quotes
Honey Best: Greater good? I am your wife! I'm the greatest *good* you are ever gonna get! Violet Parr: We act normal Mom. I want to be normal! The only normal one is Jack-Jack, and he's not even toilet trained! Syndrome: Oh, ho ho! You sly dog!...
...Read More

VICTORIA TO HOST 1ST ANNUAL "FEAST OF FOOLS"
Copyright Victoria Elizabeth 2005. For Immediate Release - March 9, 2005 VICTORIA TO HOST FIRST ANNUAL "FEAST OF FOOLS"! VICTORIA -- The capital of British Columbia will play host on April 1, 2005 to the 1st Annual “Feast of Fools”, in honor of...
...Read More

Very Precise Fortune Cookies
Very Precise Fortune Cookies By David Leonhardt I cracked open the fortune cookie and read the little slip of paper on the inside. Immediately I realized that it had been written by a weather forecaster. "You will be approached in the late...
...Read More

Being Sensitive and Kind
I am very caring and sensitive. I think this is in part down to my tough upbringing. I worked on a cabbage farm since I was eight years old. My father was a dour and God fearing Evangalist who married a one armed Yugoslavian peasant from Skopje. She...
...Read More