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The Finer Points of Poverty
I'm poor. And I'm not ashamed of it. Actually, I'm kind of proud of myself for being poor. It's an accomplishment that many people will never attain. Some people will go through their whole life and never know what it's like to experience some of...
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Being Sensitive and Kind

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I am very caring and sensitive. I think this is in part down to my tough upbringing. I worked on a cabbage farm since I was eight years old. My father was a dour and God fearing Evangalist who married a one armed Yugoslavian peasant from Skopje. She never spoke a word of English and still doesn't.

My father moved on in the late 1980's having eloped with a Tibetan Monk. I never heard from them again but I escaped from the cabbages. I was an only child until my mother re married again and I now have 4 step sisters and 3 step brothers.

I washed cars in the biting winds of the North East coast to earn money for the family and despite looking after my mother and her young siblings I was thrown out of house and home at the age of 18.

I moved to London and was going to sleep rough. Since then I have encountered nothing but kindness. I remember my first day in the capital. It was just after Halloween in 1987 and I found this old pumpkin which I wanted to slice up into pieces so I borrowed a meat cleaver I found at the back of the Chinese Restaurant and as I was returning to the rubbish skip for the pumpkin I bumped into a man who looked at me without saying a word and handed me the total contents of his wallet. Can you believe it. I am sure that meat cleaver was lucky.

With this kind donation I checked into a hotel. What luxury. I had never been in a hotel before. They had this thing called a bidet with fresh water pouring out of it that you could drink from.

On the second night I was in the lobby trying on some sun glasses that I never intended to buy and doing my best James Bond impression and watching my reflection off the shop window. I wondered if I could become an actor. Out of the blue a total stranger walks up to me and in perfect Slav he hands me a suitcase, shakes my hand and thanks me for all my work for the motherland. I thanked him also and praised the motherland profusely. I felt so good and warm that someone appreciated me and I never had the heart to tell this person that I didn't know what he meant. So uncanny that he should speak in a language I understood so well. It was almost as if he had singled me out from amongst the crowd.

Can you imagine my shock when I later opened the suitcase and found over a million dollars inside it, all in one hundred dollar bills. I was overwhelmed. The world is full of such caring and sensitive people. I cried with gratitude. It was meant for me after all. I must have met my guardian Angel.

In the morning I had a wonderful breakfast and contemplated my future. I would buy a house with a nice garden and open a Donkey Sanctuary. As I left the hotel that morning I was reminded how some people waste their time on the wrong things in life. I heard that two men had taken shots at each other and were arguing about money before being arrested by armed police and taken away. I think they were foreigners from some troubled country trying to purchase or sell arms. I am glad I at least kept to an honest way of life.

So you see. With this kindness showered upon me and a sunny outlook on life I can only be happy, content and caring and sensitive. Life has smiled on me. I even won a huge lottery prize two weeks ago to extend my farm and help lots of animals. I suppose all I now need is a wife to make my life complete.


About the Author

From the website of www.birminghamuk.com

 

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