Feature Article:

Patch - a Scottish Collie
Scottish Pet Portraits Patch A Scottish Collie It seems as if I've always had dogs around; in my work as a pet portrait artist, under my feet or occupying my favourite chair at home. And also in memories stretching way back into the mists of...
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Miss Congeniality Quotes

Additional Reading

Miss Rhode Island: Once I stole a pair of red underwear from the department store. My mom wouldn't buy them for me. She said they were Satan's panties!

Gracie Hart: You think I'm gorgeous. You want to kiss me. You want to hug me. You want to love me. You want to hug me. You want to smooch me. You want to...

Gracie Hart: It's lite beer and she's gonna throw it up anyway.

Miss Rhode Island: That's a tough one. I would have to say April 25th. Because it's not too hot, not too cold, all you need is a light jacket.

Gracie Hart: I am in a dress, I have gel in my hair, I haven't slept all night. I'm starved, AND I'm armed! Don't MESS with me!

Kathy Morningside: Of course he had a gun. This is Texas! Everybody has a gun. My florist has a gun!

Victor Melling: Smilers wear a crown, losers wear a frown.

Victor Melling: I'm sorry. What was the question? I was distracted by the half-masticated cow rolling around in your wide-open trap.

Miss New York: I just want to let all the lesbians out there know if I can make the top ten, so can you!

Gracie Hart: And if anyone, anyone tries to hurt one of my new friends, I would take them out. I would make them suffer so much that they'd wish they were never born. And if they ran, I would hunt them down. Thank you, Kathy.

Gracie Hart: I know I am going to miss the heels because they do something


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WHATS IN A NAME Odd Places in America


The One Great Sermon That Got Away


Who Has The Greatest Job In The World

Nurses Bedpans And X Rated Hospital Gowns

Being Sensitive and Kind

Guys Love What Women Dont

Dog Poo Turd Tales

Technical Treason and Eight or Nine reasons why an infra red mouse is a MUST

WHAT'S IN A NAME? -- Odd Places in America
Copyright Victoria Elizabeth 2004. All rights reserved. WHAT DO 'DEAD HORSE' AND 'DEVIL'S BACKBONE' HAVE IN COMMON? -- A Misguided Guide to Unusual Placenames in America -- It is said that England has more than a few rather quaint placenames such...
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Copyright by Victoria Elizabeth 2004. All rights reserved. WELCOME TO WITCHVILLE (Home of Scream Cuisine & Other Stuff) Living in Victoria, BC (Canada) has a few perks. Second to Salem, Massachusetts (the world capital of witchcraft), Victoria,...
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The One Great Sermon That Got Away
Most people don't realize ministers are obligated to prepare and preach one great sermon in their career. In looking over my record of sermons, I noticed many "good" sermons, but an obvious lack in the list of a single "great" sermon. Perusing my...
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The Wildcat's Beginning In the beginning when all things were nice There were no wildcats, there were no mice And then one day the old man came out And said, "Let there be wildcats!" This he did shout. Then low and behold, a furry wildcat was born...
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Who Has The Greatest Job In The World?
I have, in my opinion, the world's perfect job. Just look at the evidence. I love people and I love God. I love talking to people about God and I love talking to God about people. Therefore, if you put these two together, I am doing what I love...
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