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Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005 IT'S MERRY-MAKING MONTH MAY NATURALLY! -- Eccentric events and odd occasions to celebrate in May 2005 -- Compiled by Lady Beatrice Blitterlees and edited by Lord Earl Craboon When the odd flibbertygibbet or two...
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Things Not to Do in McDonalds

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Yes,I know I write a lot of things about McDonalds on my site,but when you work there it's hard to not complain about one thing or the other.Now I've decided it would make my job much more enjoyable if I'd give you a few pointers to use when you decide to come in to a McDonalds.

Know what the fuck you want before you step up to the counter.I can't stand it when I'm making my awesome assed burgers and some fuck tard keeps changing their order around so I'll end up having too much or too little of something.If you're getting more than one of the same thing why in the fuck would you skip over it and then add another one.That pisses me off to no end.

Don't stare back into the kitchen while I'm kicking ass.I don't stare at you while you're doing your job so just keep the eyes on the bitches up front.They are there to look pretty and give you food.I don't like being looked at like I'm some sort of criminal or something,that pisses me off.If I wanted to spit in your food anyways I could easily do it without you knowing.Just remember that next time you step in.

Don't send stuff back unless it's pink as hell or missing a burger.It's stupid that we have special orders in the first place.It's busy and I don't feel like adding all this stupid shit to your burger because you felt like getting creative with the stupid thing.If you don't like the sandwhich the way we make it than there's a simple solution:fuck off.We don't need your business here,there's a perfectly good SubWay down the road and they'll gladly ask what you want on your shit.As for me,I don't care.

Don't fuck on the Baby Change Station.I'm serious,some nasty looking couple went into the bathroom and fucked right on our baby change station.Who in the hell would do something so stupid?I wish we could find these people and legally cane them for being so stupid.Don't people have homes?I doubt anyone came to work at McDonalds thinking they'd have to clean up some perverts jizz off of the wall.I didn't have to clean it though so at least that was good.

Make sure you order a bunch of fries and ice cream.I love getting orders when I don't have to make anything in the back.That way I can laugh at all of the people that do have to actually do work.That's awesome.

Don't order 10 double cheeseburgers at 12 PM.No wonder people in this country are so fat,they come in and order enough food to make Oprah gag and then they have the nerve to order a diet coke with the whole thing.Hell if you're eating that much shit at that time of the night than you'd be better off downing a quart of CLR.That'll put you down quicker anyways.

Don't come in when you're drunk.Work is not a party,there's no beer,no fried chicken,and no drunken hot bitches to take advantage of.The last thing we want is some jackass coming in and reminding us of how much fun we could be having while instead we're at work.Then the bastards won't leave.It's like they are somehow sucked into pissing us off even more than before.It's really like a big crock of shit.I would love to have a posistion in McDonalds that involves nothing but beating the crap out of stupid,and/or drunken customers.I would love to have that job.

I hope I've brought to your attention a few things that can easily be done.Hopefully you'll understand where I'm coming from and agree with me completely.If not I guess you can just fuck off and not come to McDonalds ever again,not that you'd be missing out on much.

About the Author

The Epic is the founder and owner of his personal site The Epic Zone located at theepiczone.com


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